It’s 6:00 a.m. Your alarm blares. It’s time for another long day at the office. As you rub the crust from your eyes, you automatically reach for your phone and begin to indulge in your first doom scroll of the day. Within minutes, you’re mindlessly whipping through carefully curated parts and pieces of other people’s lives. Then she appears.
She also wakes up at 6:00 a.m., but not to the jarring sound of a cellphone; she wakes to her burly rooster crowing by her picturesque red barn. As she rises from her massive bed, her hair falls in effortless waves and you recognize her perfectly paired pajama set from an ad your algorithm fed you last week. You wonder who could possibly be recording all of this, but the thought is quickly shooed from your mind as she lifts her precious, silent baby from the vintage-looking bassinet at the bedside. She emerges from the bedroom and four other children sit patiently, smiling, at the kitchen table. They’re waiting for breakfast: fresh eggs from the family’s chickens, milk from their cows, sourdough bread made from scratch, and fruit picked from their trees the evening before. Assumably, their father has already been awake for hours, tending to the farm before the sun touches the horizon.
Tradwife
noun | TRAD-wyfe
A dutiful housewife active on social media
– Meriam Webster Dictionary
You click on her username, and you’re catapulted into a gorgeously beige world where nothing ever seems to go wrong. The counters are never cluttered. The meals never come from the freezer and definitely never require a microwave crisping sleeve; even the family dog matches the aesthetic. You wonder if she is somehow happier, somehow more fulfilled than you could ever be. She seems to have it all: the house, the space, the family, the children, the animals, the garden, the fame… but where’s the reality? You know it’s too good to be true, but for some reason, you believe the narrative in front of you. Perhaps it’s easier to trust this woman than to consider the alternative… that it all could be a farse.
The phenomenon you’ve scrolled and pondered upon, dear reader, has become one of social media’s most recognizable trends. The woman in the video is what the internet has come to call a “tradwife.”
Merriam-Webster defines a tradwife simply as “a dutiful housewife active on social media,” but the public’s perception of the term is anything but simple. For some, becoming or being with a tradwife represents an ideal lifestyle centered on homemaking, raising children, and embracing traditional gender roles. Supporters often describe the movement as empowering because it emphasizes personal choice, family life, and finding fulfillment outside of a traditional career. They argue that feminism should include the freedom to choose a domestic life just as much as it supports women pursuing professional ambitions.
But what happens when the tradwife takes to social media? Is the lifestyle still considered “traditional?” Some contend that the highly curated images shared on social media present an unrealistic picture of homemaking, much like any other lifestyle influencer’s content. Others raise concerns that the tradwife movement romanticizes a version of the past that overlooks the unfortunate economic, legal, and social realities many women still face today. They argue that some online tradwife content promotes rigid gender roles, reinforces unequal power dynamics in relationships, uses nonconsenting children for content, and can portray financial dependence on a spouse as universally desirable.
Regardless of anyone’s opinion, since around 2020, Americans seem to be completely infatuated with tradwives. Social media users like Hannah “Ballerina Farm” Neeleman, Nara Smith, and Alexia Delarosa (just to name a few) have allowed the public into their homes and have amassed tens of millions of followers across different social media platforms. Whether people tap the “follow” button to admire and emulate them, or they just like to gawk in disbelief at the fact that anyone would spend hours making homemade Cheez-Its (no, but seriously, Nara Smith did that), a click is a click, and a click equals cash. Tradwives are making millions, and we are eating every post up just as fast as their eleven kids devour their freshly harvested breakfast— which is why I wasn’t surprised when Caro Claire Burke’s novel, Yesteryear, became the hottest book of the summer.
If you haven’t heard of Yesteryear yet, the novel follows Natalie, a woman whose life appears to be picture perfect on social media. Her farmhouse is rustic, her husband is a handsome, and her six children are each more delightful than the last– a life carefully curated for her eight million devoted followers. However, behind the camera lies a very different reality. The farm and the house run on hired help, the marriage is strained, and the carefully edited depiction presented to her followers leaves tantrums, resentment, and the exhausting truth of raising several children out.
Natalie is convinced she has fooled everyone into believing her fairy tale until one morning; she wakes up in a life that isn’t hers. Her kitchen is warmed by a crackling fire, her children are dirty and more odd than usual, and her usually soft-handed husband is suddenly a competent farmer. She has been hurled into the life she led her followers to believe she already had, and it is not as enjoyable she thought it would be (to say the least). Whether an act of God, an oddly realistic reality show, or a horrible dream, Natalie knows one thing: she needs to get back home.
If this story piques your curiosity, you’re not alone. In our consortium, PrairieCat, there are almost 500 holds on Yesteryear, and counting! Books about tradwives have our readers in a chokehold, and they’re willing to wait eons to get their hands on Natalie’s story and others like it! If you’re one of the hundreds of holds already, you may want to consider checking the wait times on Hoopla, Libby, and Palace Project, or stopping by the library to visit our Lucky Day Collection! You may be able to wait mere weeks, rather than months, to find out what happens to our favorite fictional tradwife!
In the meantime, here’s a quick list of fiction that could scratch your “tradwife itch” while you wait:
- The Compound
- Disappoint Me
- Everyone is Lying to You
- Her Beautiful Life
- Julie Chan is Dead
- Trad Wife
- The Tradwife’s Secret
We invite you to come create, collaborate, and grow with us at DeKalb Public Library! If you have questions about our building, services, or materials, or any suggestions, please reach out to us at [email protected] or 815-756-9568 ext. 2150, or stop by and see us during our open hours. Happy reading!